Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Scanner Selfies - Smile for the Supervisor




By Mel Carriere


The buzz around our office these days is that the new scanners we received just a couple weeks ago are equipped with a camera that can be used to spy on letter carriers.  This news came down the grapevine through one of the carriers I work alongside, who is married to a clerk at another station.  This clerk was apparently invited by a supervisor to watch the peep show on the computer.  I don't know what you think, but to me this Big Brother capability is fraught with disturbing implications, because I think we all know we can trust our supervisors not to do the right thing.  The very fact that a supervisor is letting a clerk in on the fun demonstrates that the system is already being abused.

Supervisors love to spew out vast volumes of warm air reproaching carriers for their perceived dishonesty and lack of integrity.  They do this because they have none themselves, and when the planet you live on is inhospitable to honesty and integrity there is an unscientific tendency to assume the neighboring planets must be the same.  Supervisors are not scientists, in case you haven't noticed.

To demonstrate how unscientific managers mostly just pay lip service to personal integrity, consider the following story of a station manager at an office I used to work at, who had a set of  employee IDs in his desk that had been rejected for some reason.  During meetings he and the supervisors would engage in games of "War" with the badges; the worst employees being the high cards and the good ones the low.  They got many good hours of belly Lols doing this.  The letter carriers at the station were never the wiser.

This Selfie capability is going to give your supervisors many more lols, plus a godlike omniscience over your personal life.  No matter what they say, supervisors will be using these powers for evil.  I can envision them sitting around the computer in a remote, forgotten office next to the janitor's closet, two or three of them huddled in front of the screen laughing their asses off while the junior 204b is posted by the door to sound the alarm.  Somehow the Postmaster storms in secretly, pretends to be indignant at first, then chills out and joins the fun.

Can you imagine all the  selfies the new scanners are going to get for these bored, easily amused supervisors? Nose picking selfies, and selfies of you scratching various prohibited parts of your anatomy are among a few.  Talking to yourself selfies - let's face it, this job can get lonely and who else is there to talk to?  Strange psycho face selfies because my doctor told me to stretch my face muscles five times a day but some people don't get it.  Selfies of your rude lunchtime table manners; mainly your yogurt dripping down your chin because your momma ain't there to slap you or clean your face with a napkin.  Peeing in the jug selfies...Selfies of you hungrily eyeing the fallen Dorito on the LLV floor, then casually picking it up and eating it in clear violation of the five second rule.  Selfies of you squirming around and pulling on your postal pants to clear out the sweaty underwear butt creep.  My twisted imagination could dig into even deeper, darker places...

It's a little disturbing to know that we are being watched. As I was eating lunch yesterday I felt the perverted, leering gaze of  my scanner staring at me from its holster, which I have hooked to the dashboard of the LLV.   I'm not doing anything wrong and I don't think anybody wants to take a voyeuristic peephole look at my ugly mug, but who can relax even with the possibility of being stared at while eating?  I stuffed the contraption deep into my satchel until lunch was over.  If you can't mind your own business I banish you into the darkness.

Be careful, you are being watched.


Image from:  http://fcw.com/articles/2014/03/18/usps-mobile-device.aspx?m=1


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20 comments:

  1. I wander if it caught me opening my hack door, pull my pants down, sit on the bumper, then tinkle? KMSL!!!

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  2. Mel, my scanner is in a holster on my belt under my shirt most of the day. All it's going see is blue cloth or me scanning an MSP.

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    Replies
    1. Don't let it out of the cage cuz it bites.

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  3. ummm, put it in your cradle and you shouldn't have to worry!

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    1. I'm not worried for myself, I am more worried for the fairer gender among our kind. I can envision a lot of peeping Tom supervisor types really abusing this privilege.

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  4. Since it lives in my satchel, they can peep away. Damned idiots.

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    1. They are going to see a lot of the back of the LLV. I never carry it.

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  5. Funny, when we got ours we were told it would be good to keep them in the holster on the dash (looking at the driver). I saw there was an obvious camera on the back and a more subtle, unexplained slot on the front so no matter which way it faced it was watching you. I taped a piece of paper over the little slot on the front and the Postmaster told me to remove it. After I pointed that out to others, they decided they preffered to place the scanner upside down in the holster so both cameras are in the dark :)

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    1. It doesn't make a good lunch date, that's for sure.

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  6. if you're not doing anything wrong, it won't matter. on the other hand, I hate being spied on. q: does it record sound?

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  7. Are these scanners? Or spy cams? And why does the new PMG even allow such BS? If you want honest, hardworking postal employees, then you must treat them with courtesy - AND RESPECT! And one more thing. Who (supervisors) has the time to watch every letter carrier doing THEIR JOB?! Bag those things, guys and gals. You have a job to do. You don't need the distraction...

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    1. Not so surprising to me, since they don't have much of a track record on respect. I predict a lot of abuse and a lot of Union activity.

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  8. More and more crap to deal with, if they put all the energy they put into making carriers lifes miserable into making the postal service work smoother things would be sooo much better.

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    1. I cannot argue with that, but there has been no significant investment in common sense since i joined the organization 21 years ago.

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  9. How many cameras have ? Someone tell have 3

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    1. I looked at the diagram Maricarmen, and I can only see one. Thanks for reading.

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  10. Damn I'm glad I retired. When those things first came along I said to myself that they'd find a way to use them against us. For an outfit that's tight on money, they sure seem to have no trouble finding ways to waste it.

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    1. Thank you Jim, couldn't have said it better. I appreciate you taking the time to read when you've got about ten thousand better things to do now that you are retired.

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