Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Letter Carriers Lynch Postal Parcel Kicker

By Mel Carriere

Whenever there is an incident that seems to violate the expected norms of a certain segment of human society, the lingering tribal mentality of the human race compels the angry villagers to break out the pitchforks and burn the offender at the stake before he even has a chance to defend himself.

In this case the tribe of which I speak consists of the letter carriers of America.  We paint our faces, put on our war bonnets, and gather around in a sacred circle to dance and chant before doing battle with management, but our internal purges can be equally intense.  To which I ask the question:  Is this lynch mob mentality always called for?  In other words, is it right to throw a brother under the bus when there are so many outside the sacred tribal circle ready and willing to do so?

I am speaking specifically of a Facebook video I saw on June 3rd, in which a letter carrier is caught on home security cameras kicking two packages up to a door.

The way I see it, I the word kicking is a reach.  In my interpretation, it is more like he is delivering the packages with his feet.  At no time does he actually rear back like Adam Vinatieri to try a 60 yarder, it is more like the soccer style dribbling of Lionel Messi, though without the finesse.  None of the nudges with his feet appear hard enough to do any damage to the packages.  Yet the tribal outrage and condemnation I saw on Facebook from this action was swift, vehement, and entirely one-sided.

The problem, I suppose, is not that the packages were damaged, but that he got caught on camera.  As the public face of the Postal Service, I suppose letter carriers are expected to be perfect.  But if the public could only see the depredations and atrocities committed against parcels at any given post office on any given morning, there would be a Congressional investigation that would make America forget about Trump and the Russians.

No knock on you brother and sister clerks out there, I know you guys are under pressure to get the parcels thrown by cutoff time, but I've watched you with jaw-dropping astonishment on many occasions, and you all are really good from three-point range.  There is better arc on those parcels flying around the workroom floor then we see with the long-range bombing Golden State Warriors.  The public never see our clerks from the three point line, however, so the witch-hunting villagers keep their pitchforks stowed away in the shed.

A mail-lady drops a package a couple of feet onto a porch, however, and the video of it goes viral.  Over on the next block a mailman pushes a package a few feet over a fence (probably because there is no other place to leave it), and this is considered an egregious assault against American values.  Light the torches, sharpen the farming tools, string 'em up.

I'm not saying that kicking packages is an acceptable delivery method.  I'm just saying that we should give this man his day in court before we hand him over to be crucified.  When I said the same on Facebook some very literal person out there commented that it will probably never go to court, but will be handled internally.  I kinda get that, it's a figure of speech.  I didn't mean to say he will actually be nailed to a cross either - though if if he is we will need him to rise from the tomb to deliver Amazon on Sunday.

All confusing, complicated metaphors and analogies aside, is it possible that the letter carrier had a justification for shuffling these packages along with his feet?  Is he a CCA who has been working for five straight weeks and can no longer lift his arms over his head?  Is he aware of a dog at this address, which makes him want to maintain his mobility and field of vision?  Does he have a bad back, shoulder or elbow that makes lifting painful?  One Facebook comment said in response to this that he should get a new job or change crafts if he can't handle it.  Really?  It's that easy to leave a good paying job for a prayer or switch to clerk at the drop of a hat?  Let's not be smugly sanctimonious just because our own jobs are protected.

Of course, none of these scenarios may be true.  It is possible, as the Facebook jury verdict hath decreed, that he is simply a "lazy POS, a stupid lazy a**hole, a sleezy, no pride bum who is too lazy to brush his own teeth or wipe his own ass."

But I'm sure management has already tried, convicted, and bound the parcel kicker over for punishment without so much as a nod to his version of events.  Therefore, might we, his brother and sister letter carriers, exercise more restraint and hear the brother out before we also tie him to the whipping post?

Postal Tsunami Musical Guest Allman Brothers Band - Tied to The Whipping Post

RIP Gregg Allman (1947 - 2017)


Friday, March 17, 2017

Postal Tsunami 3/17/2017

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What Is A Sense of Urgency - Musings from The Postal Tsunami

 Are you a letter carrier with a sense of urgency?  Just what is a sense of urgency?  Furthermore, is your urgency my emergency?  Mel ponders the particulars of postal philosophy on The Postal Tsunami.

Postal Tsunami 2/10/2017

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We Deliver Dog Kicks - San Diego Letter Carrier Accused of Punting Pooch

Do letter carriers get their kicks punting pooches?  Or are there legitimate reasons why flailing feet sometimes launch furry footballs into orbit?  The Postal Tsunami explores a San Diego case.

Postal Tsunami 1/20/2017

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Are Postal Customers Preparing for the Trumpocalypse?

Donald Trump is now President, without the reassuring -elect suffix attached.  Are Postal Customers stockpiling, in anticipation of a dreaded Trumpocalypse?

Postal Tsunami 1/2/2017

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Did We Win? - Early Returns Show USPS Makes Further Breakthroughs in The Parcel Delivery Business

Mel tells some heart-warming holiday stories, then reveals secret statistics that demonstrate how the Postal Service is kicking butt on its competitors.  From the pages of the Postal Tsunami.